So often I come across situations that make you stand back and ask the question - "Really?" You can be sure that when you have to ask that question, you have a smile on your face. When this moment happens, I find I can't help myself; I have to take advantage of the situation! That's right, the bullshit starts flying when there is hay to be made!
Back a number of years ago, I was working the summer down in Leamington Ontario. This was back in my seismic days. Yeah okay, I can see some of those raised eyebrows again. Well, let's step out of this story for a sec. Seismic refers to seismic exploration. The underground seismic survey of the earths geological subterranean formations. Yeah okay... how about oil hunters? That should work. We were the guys that find the oil! In this case, we were actually looking for gas deposits but it's the same thing.
Leamington is the capital of Canada for tomatoes. I have never seen so many bloody tomato fields in my life! When harvest time comes - you can't stomach a bottle of tomato sauce or ketchup for months! During the time we were working there, we would be constantly asked the same thing. "What are you folks doing here?" We in turn would politely reply; "We are looking for oil and gas." That's when they would all start to laugh and ask us... "What are you really doing here?"
Now understand that what I'm about to say does not in anyway diminish the good folks of Leamington or imply that they are a little slow. The fact is, what we were doing there was unheard of at that time and therefore - not believable.
As a devote follower of my own church of life in which life can and should be fun [this goes way back to my earliest memories!] I felt it was prudent to help these good folks along with understanding just EXACTLY what we were doing there in their fair community.
One night while coming back from dinner at our favorite Greek restaurant, I was stopped at a set of lights. Hot summers night - of course the truck windows were down. A fellow pulls up beside me.
"What's on your truck? Did you find a sale somewhere?" Laughter ensued.
Now a seismic line truck - which I was driving, has racks of geophones hanging from the sides of a big bin mounted in the middle of the truck bed. Think of a giant Bobby-pin with black wires strung through it with orange small round pods with a steel spike on one end of each. That's a string of "jugs" as we call them - the geophone sensor array. They are placed on the ground and they pick up the underground vibrations for mapping of the earth. The truck was holding about 120 of them!
I told him the truth - he laughed and asked what they were really for? So I told him. "Well... they actually, are used for measuring the content of maple trees. We hammer the spikes into the trunks of the trees and by hooking these up to our instruments, we can tell how rich a harvest we will get from each tree! We are working for the Ontario forestry services. No one is suppose to know." He believed me.
Later on that week, I was asked what I won my buckle for? Back then I was a very western kind of lad. Cowboy boots, western style shirts and of course a well worn silver and brass buckle of a calf roper. So I explained... "This 'ol thing? I was the 1988 Alberta BSA Gopher Roping Champion!" Now he was impressed! "How do you manage that?" he asked. I replied... "With a very small rope!" Apparently that warranted a pat on the back. For those of you that don't know what a gopher is, its a small furry animal also know as a Richardson Ground Squirrel [Actual name]. Some - call them prairie dogs.
The Coup D'etat was when a man stopped by my recording truck [I suspected a local farmer] and asked what we were up to?" Seen us working along the roads and had never seen this type of thing before." I told him the truth. You guessed it, he laughed and asked what we were really doing?
Well... [I'm really smiling here for this one!] I asked him if he could keep a secret? He nodded yes. I asked him if he had ever heard of seismic surveys? He had a basic understanding - but didn't believe we were looking for oil or gas down there. Already heard that tale!
"Well you see," I said seriously, " we are actually looking for underground caverns."
"Why?"
"Nuclear waist disposal site."
Okay I admit it... I went a little to far that time! He went straight to the county. They held an emergency meeting and two days later there was a knock at my recording truck door. It was the RCMP!
Although he was laughing about it, he politely asked me to try and refrain from getting too carried away in my tales. He had heard all of them thus far and was enjoying them all and yes, he understood that the good folks simply did not want to believe the truth; but..., A NUCLEAR WAIST DISPOSAL SITE! He felt that was getting a little too carried away.
We did have a good laugh and visited for another 20 minutes before he left. I of course had a much clearer understanding of what Leamington was all about! Lol.
So you see guys and gals..., life can be an extremely good time if you have the right outlook on things. Never get too serious! Avoid getting road rage and bent out of shape trying to control others and their actions. Let the water run off your back... Life is too short for being too serious all the time. I have just commissioned having a silver buckle made to my specifications as I had led the poor guy in Leamington to believe. BTW... BSA stands for 'Bull Shitter's Association'.
So next time you see a cowboy out here in the Alberta wild west, take a closer look at the buckle. It may just be a cowboy roping a gopher!
Take care folks and have a great weak and remember - smile!
Trip...
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